(if you haven’t read my last post, it might make this post make more sense)

Ok, last night I got invited to go see the movie “Meet the Robinson’s” at the dollar theater. I normally am not a huge fan of animated/disney movies, but I was craving some social interaction so I decided to go for it. On the way to the theater I was just begging God to change my life somehow. Lately I’ve just been miserable because its been blatantly obvious to me how selfish and prideful I have been, but I haven’t been able to find a way out of it.I never thought God would use a disney movie, but, well, He did.

Meet the Robinsons is an animated movie about a young boy who is really intelligient but an orphan. In the beginning of the movie he keeps having these interviews with potential parents with no success. Naturally, after several failed interviews he decides he is done with interviews. So throughout the movie you see this young boy’s quest to be part of a real family. Well I don’t want to ruin the movie for those that haven’t seen it, so I’ll stop with the movie there. But as I was watching this animated movie, something really struck me: I need a family! For several reasons for the last few months I have felt like I really don’t have a family. I think like “Lewis” from the movie I just had my fill of active or passive rejection. At some point I just decided that I really didn’t have a need for family. I just wanted to be strong enough that I didn’t have needs that I couldn’t fulfill. My need for family was just one example of many needs that I tried to ignore and think that I could do without.The movie opened my eyes to the fact that I was so tired of being rejected and inadequate that I put on this “false self”. My false self didn’t need anyone on my ministry team, it didn’t need to go to church, it didn’t need time with God. If I don’t have needs that I can’t meet, why would I need God? This explains why being a Christian wasn’t making sense to me. But the truth is that I really do have needs that I can’t meet on my own. When I was living with this “false self” my life was miserable. My false self was trying to do everything it could to find satisfaction, but it was finding none.I think God used the movie to remind me that I do have real needs that I can’t meet. I have needs that only God can meet.

On the way home I was having a conversation with God. One thing that has really bothered me lately is that it seems I only love God because of what He does for me. God also reminded me that He doesn’t expect me to love perfectly, just with all that I have. He is calling me to love Him with everything I have, and thats ok thats its nowhere near the amount of love that God has for me, thats why God has grace for me, for everyone. It was a reminder that its ok to love God because of what He does for us. Its not necessarily selfish (although it can be), but really, spending time with God because He meets our needs is wise. Its way better than spending time in other places to try and have our needs met by something or someone other than God.

Truly:

“10 Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.”-Psalm 84:10 (NIV)