The last several months have brought on a lot of changes into my life, and to be honest, they are all changes I never thought I would even consider, but here I am, and I have considered them. What I’m about to say may come as a shock to some, or may be expected by some. This is just my attempt at being honest and explaining whats going on and why its going on.

I believe that God is leading me to step back from my involvement with the Rock and Stonebrooke. This is hard for me to say, because for the last 3 years I never really thought that was an option. I just always assumed I would always be connected with GCM. I poured myself into my ministry team (Linden) and was really banking on the idea I would spend my life with the people on the team, at least to some extent. I really planned my life around the team and the people on my team.

However, none of my plans were really centered around God or were directed by God leading me. I made the plans I had made in large part because I felt those were the plans I was supposed to make. I feared rebuke and social disapproval should I make other plans. Loyalty is a really big deal in GCM, so I just chose to pour everything into Linden, looking back, it didn’t seem like there was another plausible choice. There were a lot of choices like this that I made. The ministry team, courtship/waiting, deciding what opportunities I would take based on their location, etc. Hear me out, I am not trying to bash GCM. I made my own choices, GCM did not force me to make the choices I did. And while I think a lot of the advice I followed while being a part of GCM is good advice, its not necessarily God’s advice. I think I have been guilty of following seemingly good advice, but not God’s advice. Its become apparent to me that GCM is just not a good fit for me. I have a lot of gifts, talents and desires, but most of them are not very compatible with GCM. I think this explains why I have felt so much friction and tension while being a part of the Rock. And so I think its best to step back and learn how to listen to God’s voice and God’s voice alone.

Although my time in GCM has been difficult and at times painful, I’ve met some people that I care about deeply. I really have come to love so many of you. I just feel that God has a different place and perhaps a different role for me to be in. I believe GCM is full of people who genuinely love God and want to serve Him with all they have. I just want people to know my decision is not based on bitterness, or relational issues. Its strictly based on how and where God is leading me. And it seems that for a time, God has led me to ames and to the Rock, and within the next year or two, He will probably lead me away from Ames.

So allow me to reiterate that I really do love the Rock, and its because I really do care about you guys that has made this decision a hard one to make. Just because I will be stepping back does not mean I don’t care about the Rock, or that I’m not serious about following God or anything like that. I’ll still be around the ames area for at least another year. I’m still planning on taking another trip out to the Rosebud reservation this thanksgiving. It just means my involvement with the Rock will be a lot more casual.

As for whats next, I’m currently trying to find a new job in the Des Moines area. I’ve applied to Wells Fargo and will continue to apply to some other places. I’d like to move to the des moines area probably at the end of the next summer at the latest. Most of all I’m just trying to hear what God wants from me. I really want to know what God wants me to do with my life. I just want to be satisfied in God and God alone. And as we all know, to really pursue such a desire requires great sacrifice. I’m saddened to find myself leaving, but I am filled with hope because as I step out into the unknown I am finding the peace of God. I pray you all are experiencing that same peace.

-TJ